First things first: I’ve hit page 55 of my first draft. Depending on who you talk to, I’m either halfway or almost halfway. I’m hoping to finish before my August 1st deadline. Any thoughts on what I should do to celebrate?
Secondly, while watching David Fincher’s The Game the other night, I was reminded of all the things I’ve always promised myself I would never do in a film. Let me share for posterity’s sake. Feel free to hunt me down and stomp on my gardenias if I ever break one of these.
1. It will never end with “it was all a dream.”
This one may have worked once upon a time (I’ve actually tried to track down the first film to pull it off), but no more. This gives you license to do whatever you want to during the plot and then erase it all at the end. Lazy, lazy, lazy.
2. The character won’t be dead or dying the entire film
The Sixth Sense is the best example of this. M. Night did it so well that he effectively “screwed the pooch”: no other film can do this now. A couple have tried and they’re terrible. You can see it coming a mile away like a neon-pink freight train and, like point number 1, it feels cheap.
3. No split personalities or characters who are hallucinations
“I know, lets have the bad guy and the good guy be the same person!” This one has also been ruined by repeated overexposure. Inevitably, the ‘bad’ personality takes over at the end and wreaks havoc like a mediocre Jason Vorhees wannabe. The other variation on this is when one character is actually a figment of another’s imagination. Fight Club is still a great film, but that element is its weakest link. Ed Norton’s alter ego (Brad Pitt) beating himself up at the end? Did that ever make sense?
4. No cheating
This is what The Game does. The ‘twist’ at the end is entertaining for only as long as it takes your brain to start processing it. In light of the events of the film, it makes little to no sense. It’s cheating for the sake of shock value. On second viewing, the film is hopelessly broken. Compare to The Sixth Sense which is a richer, more powerful experience the second time through.
So those are my cinematic pet peeves. Any y’all would like to share?
02/07/2009 at 9:19 am Permalink
-Starting with a dream… and then having someone shoot up from their bed.
-Starting with an alarm clock… (yes, we usually begin our day like this, so do we have to always begin films like this?) Short films are particularly notorious for this…
-Make a plot that is just a remix of my last project.
-Have everyone in a bar know kung-fu… unless, you know, Chuck Norris is involved…
(p.s. thanks for including TLiM in the Blogroll!)
02/07/2009 at 9:38 am Permalink
Everyone in the bar doesn’t know Kung Fu?
What kind of a madhouse world are you living in?
02/07/2009 at 9:51 am Permalink
Yes, those are awful, Ryan. Except for the last one. I’m now going to make it my mission in life to write a film in which everyone in the bar knows kung-fu…and I’m going to have four different bars.
02/07/2009 at 9:55 am Permalink
Creepy children… unless it’s the Japanese or Korean original version.
02/07/2009 at 9:56 am Permalink
And you could also have Chuck Norris!
02/07/2009 at 10:00 am Permalink
Sorry, those two comments do not logically follow one another. In the second comment, I was responding to your response to Ryan.
02/07/2009 at 11:13 am Permalink
No worries!
Totally unrelated… how do you score an avatar?
02/07/2009 at 11:43 am Permalink
You have to achieve the 5 pinnacles of enlightenment, as well as do something slightly unspeakable to a Spider-Man plush doll.
Or you could just go to gravatar.com and make yourself a profile. Works all over the intertubes.
02/07/2009 at 10:25 pm Permalink
It sounds like you’re really hostile to the third-act twist, Evan…and I have to agree: they’re all terrible, with a few exceptions.
I’ve thought about this a lot, and I think the reason so many people hate them is because they, in essence, consist of lying to your audience. In the vast majority of cases, their only purpose seems to be to give the artist the right to say, “I fooled you.” Well duh, you did. You’re the one telling the story; you can lie as much as you want. So what?
The rare instances you mention here “work” mainly, I think, because their purpose is thematic. They’re not “twists” for the sake of “twists” — they complete the film philosophically. Bruce Willis realizes that he’s just as damaged as the people he’s trying to help. Edward Norton realizes that he’s merely another side of the coin of human self-destruction. They’re somewhat surprising in terms of pure plot mechanics, but they bring the film full-circle thematically.
02/07/2009 at 10:40 pm Permalink
That’s a pretty astute summation, Luke. I think I’m working hard to make sure that any “twists” I incorporate into my own film complete it “philosophically,” as you put it.
08/07/2009 at 11:18 am Permalink
Oh man, I could have a whole bunch of these, but I’ll start with two cliches (not necessarily narrative devices) that I’ve highlighted at my place: 1.) Please don’t use an answering machine message as a lazy way to have a character explain something to the audience; even voicemail on a cell phone would be better than an ancient beeping machine (unless you’re setting this back a few years); and 2.) if any of your character take a cab ride, just take a half second shot to show them paying for it.
Other than you can pretty much do whatever. Just kidding. Actually I’m glad you’re avoiding everything you listed, and in general I’d rather just see a taut, straightforward narrative then a mind-bendy, did-that-really-happen thriller. I know that’s what you’re going for, but the risk is so great that it will come off as cheap. Maybe flashbacks or disjointed timing, but hopefully nothing on the order of a fake reality or something.
I don’t know why I just thought of this, but did you ever see Keane a couple years back? I recommend it, based on the sense I have of your story, or maybe your main character. If nothing else it might be a good example of straightforward writing. I actually can’t remember it that well, but still I think it might be worth checking out.